Burning the Manuscript

Writing is supposed to be a work of passion, so it should not be weird to wish to set a manuscript I spent months on, possibly year or more, on fire. I am sure Hemingway did that, or somebody. I am at that point tonight, looking at the messy, boring, ill connected collection of scenes I called a novel.

Four months ago, I thought that novel was amazing. A year ago, I was sure it was ready for publication. A perfect work of art that needed minor tweaking.

I was blinded by love of the story. Truly blinded. It took two years for me to see the flaws. TWO YEARS! I often hear the advice of setting the work aside for a month, three months, maybe even six months. I set it aside for a year, and still thought it was brilliant.  

Now you understand why I don’t have another book out. If it was out, it would be crap. It needs a major renovation, but I can see it now. I see the flaws I didn’t before. I can make it sing. But how lovely it would be to see the old version set on fire and burned into ashes. Like a phoenix, the story would rise again and be way better than before. It has to be. That version was crap. I don’t know why I ever liked it. 

Summer Reading List

How are you doing on your summer reading list? 

Summer days are filled with baseball games, swimming lessons, and supervising small people at the pool, giving me plenty of time to read, but nothing too heavy as I need to pay attention to the game and keep children from drowning. 

I recently read a translation of Dante Alighieri's Inferno, which is the first part of a trilogy depicting a descent into hell, then purgatory, then paradise. I didn't bother to read the last two parts of that comedy. Reading his depictions of hell are quite fun and decadent, and involve a lot of gruesome things. I read this in preparation to read Dan Brown's Inferno. That book is not as fun, and quite frankly, the mystery is getting annoying. Maybe I am not a mystery lover.

Also on my reading list: 

Eleanor and Park, by Rainbow Rowell. I hear a lot about this author. She may be the next John Green. There is talk of a movie coming out on this book. I better read it first!

Wonder, by R.J. Palacio. I have had this on my list for awhile and it was chosen by my local library system for their reading program, so there are plenty of copies available. The main character has a craniofacial deformity, which is a problem that has pulled at my heart. In school, it is hard to look different, and I want to read this kid's experience when looking different is part of who he is. 

Splintered, by A.G. Howard. The main character is the descendant of Alice, in which Alice in Wonderland is based. I am a fangirl of Lewis Carroll's creation and love to read about crazy people. 

So, what is on your reading list? 

The Not Writing Guilt

I haven't written a word in about a month. Before that, it was sketchy. I was working on revisions, halfheartedly. Mostly I have been letting story problems tumble around in my head and reading more.

My creative juices have been exhausted with a move. In the last two weeks, I have washed every dish, bowl, cookware, silverware and other kitchen gadget and accessories I own. I washed every piece of fabric in the house, from pillows to towels to clothing to jackets I don't even plan to keep. After sanitizing everything I own, I have to find a place for it to live in our new house, which is another challenge. To add to the chaos, I got a new computer on Mother's Day, and have been trying to make that transition. Getting a new computer is like a death to me. I have to lay the previous computer to rest and set up the new one. I hate that process. For months while still working on "Divided Moon," I was working with a computer that would shut down after 20 minutes of work, yet I would insist I was not ready to change computers, not until the work was done.

In spite of all this chaos, I have niggling guilt in the back of my brain for not writing. I have a fount of ideas, and actually recovered a notebook filled with plot, character sketches, a timeline and scenes for a horror novel I was too afraid to write before. I think I am ready now, if only I could get my house and office in order.

It will come, and I remind myself that a writers' downtimes are periods of collecting data. I have definitely been collecting data in the last few weeks. No words on the page, but ideas are bubbling as I examine my WIP, this lost WIP, my goals and other writing related things that don't involve actual writing.

I suppose I write this piece to remind myself, and all writers, that we are working, even when we aren't. Banish the guilt of not putting words on the page every day, as contemplation of story problems and planning other projects is also work. I also remind myself that when life gets in the way, I should pay attention, because it could be fodder for work. We have to live in order to know enough to create.

Book Review: Cinder

This is no fairy tale. Cinder, the debut young adult novel by Marissa Meyer and the first in her Lunar Chronicles series, is a clever, futuristic retelling of Cinderella….except I like this one better.  This Cinder doesn’t need a prince to save her, although one is making his intentions clear. She has a plan of her own that is interrupted when she has to save Earth.

Many elements of the fairy tale give the story a familiar feel. Cinder has an evil stepmother who puts Cinder to work and prohibits her from attending the ball. She has two stepsisters, although one of them is heartbreakingly charming. Cinder is dirty, not from cleaning the ashes from the fireplace, but because she is a mechanic and working with grease. Then there is the ball, and a twist to the lost shoe I saw coming, but loved all the same.

What is different is this story takes place in the future, when gasoline cars are ancient relics. Cinder isn’t entirely human, but a cyborg. I am not a frequent reader of science fiction or fantasy, so I wasn’t sure if I should know what that is. As far as I could tell with Cinder’s focus on her gloves and boots, she has some metal parts.

The story is predictable at times, which is fitting for a fairy tale retelling. We all know how the story goes. Yet there are surprises in every chapter that make this a light and enjoyable read. 

(Almost) A Year of Simple Living

Last summer, we decided to relocate the family to be together, moving from a 2200 square foot house to a two bedroom apartment in a new city.  It was a big change. Three boys sleep in one room, with about one foot between the beds. The garage is too small for our cars, so we were scraping windshields every morning all winter. We all learned patience and bladder control with one bathroom, five people, and a cat. Even the cat had to wait for the bathroom from time to time.

Tomorrow morning marks the end of our journey as we close on a new house in our new city.

Although I had doubts along the way, more than a few, the experience of living small has been something that changed all of us, probably forever.

1) Never underestimate the importance of a couch. We didn’t have furniture for the first five weeks in the apartment. Not having a decent place to sit in your place is harder (no pun intended) than any of us thought. We bought bean bag chairs, but they went flat after three weeks or so.

2) Same for a yard, or a square of driveway. People grill out in front of their garages, surrounded by a line of other garages in a parking lot pretty far away from a table. I hate it when the kids play outside, as all they have is the parking lot, which is not safe.

3) We don’t just love each other, we like each other, too. There has been no privacy for any of us in the last nine months. We laughed more often than we thought possible and grew closer. Perhaps because for some time, we were the only people we knew in town.

4) Being together is what is important. The darkest days were when the cat went missing. While it was hard to be away from him, not knowing if he was ok was what made a couple of us cry in the night. His return was the happiest of days and melted even the most cat hating family member. (Otis loves you too, Dean).

5) I don’t need half the stuff in my kitchen. I couldn’t bring everything, since the kitchen in the apartment is 1/3 the size of that in my house. I took the essentials. The only thing I truly miss is the George Foreman grill. Yeah, it surprises me, too. I miss it more than a microwave.

We won’t move first thing tomorrow, as I have some things to do to this house before we move our life and excessive stuff in. It could be a few weeks, perhaps as much as a month. I think I should leave a note of apology on the door of the apartment directly under us upon moving out. They put up with a lot with us.

Getting Past the Inner Critic

We all know the inner critic. It is the reason I write 15 blog posts before I decide to post one. It is the reason I spend years instead of months on novel revisions.

It isn’t good enough. Nobody would want to read this. It could be embarrassing.

The common advice for novelists in a first draft is to shove the critic aside and keep going. Writing a novel is a huge undertaking. Allowing the inner critic to voice its objections in early chapters may be an insurmountable roadblock and your work becomes a half finished novel. The words need to get on the page before you can really work with them. You need to fully flesh out the idea, and then tweak it.

If you are in revisions, it gets a bit trickier. I find it easiest if I work on one thing at a time during revisions….making the scenery pop, working on dialogue, fixing plot problems….one thing at a time. A notebook can be handy, to write notes on future revisions when the inner critic pops up to point something out.

Having a critique group is vital. Outside voices and eyes on the project can be far more informative than normal writer insecurities.  

The inner critic is not only for novelists. I see those shy Facebook posters and nonTweeters. Your friends and followers want to hear from you, too. Otherwise, they wouldn’t follow and friend you. Don’t be afraid to speak up, show a bit of yourself, cast aside the inner critic and embrace your voice. 

Book Review: Doll Bones

The doll on the cover of Doll Bones by Holly Black is as deliciously creepy as it appears. As the story progresses, secrets are revealed, theories are confirmed, and strange happenings are not completely explained, making the doll that sends these three friends on an impossible quest even creepier.

It is a fun adventure born from the imaginations of children. There are some scary moments when we remember how young these characters are, like on the bus in the night. As they trudge along, these friends face the perils of their adventure and the very real issue of growing up and getting too old for play. 

It is a satisfying read worthy of its Newbery Honor in 2014.